Struggling

I sometimes feel like I could break. Watching my child laying on the ground crying, whimpering, and asking for my help. What does his little heart want? What am I doing wrong? I just have trouble understanding the things he needs, or wants. How is it his fault.

Those nasty looks I get from the other mothers walking past. I think to myself why is it you think you are better than me. Why because my child cannot control his emotions or his struggles with communication. Sometimes I feel like I am in a complete trance watching from a distance. If I was in the other persons shoes would I act this way to someone else. I am not sure. I never for once thought this person would be me. You never do.

I remember telling other parents.. friends, and family.. that I wish they would have a child with special needs so they could see how difficult it is and not look towards me with so much judgement.

BUT... Sometimes I just get inside his world and I don't care what anyone is doing or saying or even if they are staring. Sometimes I get down there with him. Maybe we will lay down together and stay awhile. Maybe we can figure out together what is that is troubling him.