Every year it seems there is something
to be missed. The feelings never change. A bit a disappointment, a
bit of anxiety, and a bit of just not knowing how to handle this next
decision.
It would seem simple. I hear them...
well why don't you just take him and see how he does. Thank god for
their logical thought process so now I can put my mind at ease. Of
course they don't get it. They obviously don't know or understand the
magnitude of a simple decision. When your child has reached his
limits of being able to try and see, these things just are no longer
simple.
Imagine taking your 4'6 112 lb child
into a room that exhibits flashing lights, filled to the brim with
people chattering, and so much in general just going on. Me, myself I
could barely stand that kind of overload.. So honestly I can't
process what or how he must feel. I envision the possible scenerios
and none of them go well. At this stage in the game its just not
possible.
This isn't about me. I say that because
the first thing people think when I decide not to take my child
somewhere is that I can't handle him in this situation. First off,
its not that I can't handle him. I assure you after 8 years of blood,
sweat and tears I can handle anything this boy throws at me. Everyday
is a journey where this is most possible. But its not about me, and
what I can handle. Its about him and what he can handle. Its about
not putting him in a difficult situation and watching it all come
down. What is it worth.. Is it worth me saying we did it, we tried
it? Is it worth him becoming agitated and hurting himself or ending
the night in tears? How is this helpful?
I don't want to hide my child from the
world, or the world from my child. That is not my idea. There are
plenty of wonderful things we can do together that don't end in tears
and lost time. We go to the movies, shopping, to visit friends. We
have a lot of fun together. But places that are overwhelming and
overstimulating you won't catch us there. It does more damage than
good and I don't feel it is necessary to subject him to that kind of torture for my own peace of mind or to make other people happy.
Its about him. He is much more
important than any party, or trip I think I am missing out on. Yes,
sometimes it sucks that we can't do everything the other kids are
doing. It sucks that we miss birthday parties, trips to the zoo, or
the beach. But its just not our hand in the cards. Our hand consists
of quiet weekends at home, day trips to the movie theater, occasional
camping trips, and what Ty likes. Not what the world has defined as
normal child activities.
We do what creates his happiness
because ultimately that is what is important.
